Never question a Drunk!

Play nice and have fun... AS OF JULY 12 2025, THIS FORUM IS LOCKED.
E7
Posts: 8404
Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 1:35 am

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby E7 » Sun Nov 01, 2015 10:39 pm

Senior Trying To Set A Password

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50fuckingboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER:50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:ReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

User avatar
rogruth
Posts: 24452
Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: pembroke,ga

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby rogruth » Sun Nov 01, 2015 11:03 pm

E,

ROTFLMFAO :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
roger

I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH

User avatar
sarge
Posts: 5138
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2009 2:21 pm
Location: Dungfield Manor

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby sarge » Fri Nov 06, 2015 7:36 am

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please."


Forgive me. It's early and the back meds are quite good...

User avatar
Rufus T. Firefly
Posts: 42212
Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 7:52 am
Location: To be Determined

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby Rufus T. Firefly » Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:03 pm

sarge wrote:A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please."


Forgive me. It's early and the back meds are quite good...


Image
Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.

Tony-h
Posts: 92
Joined: Fri Apr 03, 2015 8:21 pm

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby Tony-h » Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:48 pm

E7, You have used my latest password, for which I have submitted for Copyright, without my permission. Please refrain from further usage of same! :) :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :P :P :P :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: Great minds must really think alike!

Tony

E7
Posts: 8404
Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 1:35 am

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby E7 » Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:58 pm

Tony-h wrote: Great minds must really think alike! Tony


Tony, It's that SENIOR thing!

E7
Posts: 8404
Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 1:35 am

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby E7 » Fri Nov 13, 2015 1:10 pm

Sister Mary And The Monastery Of Silence ...


Sister Mary entered the Monastery of Silence.

The Priest said; "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you
like, but you may not speak until directed to do so."

Sister Mary lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, "Sister Mary, you have been here for 5 years. You may speak two words." Sister Mary said, "Hard bed."

I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed."

After another 5 years, Sister Mary was summoned by the Priest.

"You may say another two words, Sister Mary."

"Cold food," said Sister Mary, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary in to his
office. "You may say two words today."

"I quit," said Sister Mary.

"It's probably best," said the Priest, "You've done nothing but bitch since you've been
here."

User avatar
Rufus T. Firefly
Posts: 42212
Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 7:52 am
Location: To be Determined

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby Rufus T. Firefly » Tue Nov 17, 2015 7:45 am

It is worth reflecting a bit on the recent sad demise of Larry LaPrise who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" and passed away in quietly & peacefully at the age of 93.

Unfortunately, this condition was not continued through to his internment.

They tried to put his right leg into the coffin, and that's when the problems began...........
Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.

User avatar
healey36
Posts: 7017
Joined: Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:43 pm
Location: Westminster, MD

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby healey36 » Tue Nov 17, 2015 11:59 am

The Hokey-Pokey and The Chicken Dance have left a trail of devastation across the nation's wedding receptions and bar/bat mitzvahs...well played Sir! Hats off to ya...

E7
Posts: 8404
Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 1:35 am

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby E7 » Sat Nov 21, 2015 1:59 pm

Is your sister a plastic surgeon?


Lyle was hunting geese in the Northern Minnesota woods. He leaned his old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, his Labrador dog Ginger knocked the gun over, it went off, and Lyle took most of an ounce of #4 shot into the groin.

Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was his ER doctor, Sven looking down at him!.

"Vell Lyle, I got some good noos and some bad noos er for Ya??. Da gooda noos is dat you’re going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal bleeding, and I vas able to remove all ova da buckshot.

"Well, What's the bad news then?", asks Lyle.

"The bada noos is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to youra pecker. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena .

"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Lyle. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

"No, Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye.

User avatar
rogruth
Posts: 24452
Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: pembroke,ga

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby rogruth » Sat Nov 21, 2015 2:03 pm

ROTFLMAO :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
roger

I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH

User avatar
MurphOnMillerAve
Posts: 18489
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2008 10:18 pm
Location: Kennywood Park
Contact:

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby MurphOnMillerAve » Sat Nov 21, 2015 5:42 pm

OMG.

E7
Posts: 8404
Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 1:35 am

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby E7 » Thu Nov 26, 2015 1:01 pm

Jewish Wisdom

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time So she went to check
it out.

She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?

"Morris Feinberg," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."

"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."

"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their
fellow man."

"I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of
their own interests."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a f*cking wall!"

User avatar
sarge
Posts: 5138
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2009 2:21 pm
Location: Dungfield Manor

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby sarge » Sat Nov 28, 2015 5:28 pm

An exchange of text messages between husband and wife:

Wife: windows frozen wont open

Husband: pour warm water on and tap gently with a hammer

Wife: computer really fcked up now

User avatar
rogruth
Posts: 24452
Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: pembroke,ga

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby rogruth » Sat Nov 28, 2015 7:08 pm

LMAO. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
roger

I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH


Return to “The Club Car Lounge”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 63 guests