Never question a Drunk!

[J. S. Bach]

I was reading another post just above (Queen and Pope) to a friend and noticed the new post and read to him. I think we both groaned.

[rogruth]

I think mine was all of the above.

I have a rather basic sense of humor.
Getting too old to need to think about a joke.
Still like a good one but can't spend many of the few
brain cells I have left thinking about a joke.

[MYmoo]

Roger,

RE: Irish Nuns

#5. a definate 'MYmoo-ver'!
STILL .... LMAO!!!

That Nun coulda been my sister.
She's an Angel, but she sometimes speaks in language easily understood.

[rogruth]

Myron,

So are you saying that the joke could be based on fact?

[MYmoo]

Roger,

As Far as I know, It could be so...

My sister is not a Nun, but, She would have no problem at all,
telling someone which train to board, & where to disembark,
should the need arise.

About the lost MTJ posts, I suspect Myron's sister destroyed one of the internet orbs containing our posts. Let's hope she doesn't discover the location of the Great Orb of the Internet. She might take it all down.

While I think her actions were NOT directly responsible,
I have been long on the belief that there is 'Something'
that connects us all together.

[E7]

GEEZERDROME

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,

For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.

We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,
Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.

We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee'
And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,
And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.

And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see
A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,
And when they made a movie, they never made it twice..

We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,
Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.

We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,
And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,
At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.
For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,
And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,
And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson, and Zeppelins were not Led.

And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,
Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,
And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.

And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,
And dorms were never co-Ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,
And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.

And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,
And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.

T-Birds came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,
And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.

And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,
And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,
We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea
Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made Me, Me.

There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,
And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill

And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,
And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.

But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,
And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.
They send us invitations to join AARP,
We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,
And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.
And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,
Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.

[rogruth]

Yes,those were some good times.
They also were some bad times then.

I would NOT like to go back in time except to improve my physical being.
Of course I would like to keep the knowledge, the little I have, and my stuff.

[E7]

Globalization?

A definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate:

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer : An English Princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on
Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling), followed closely by
Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by a Canadian, using American Bill Gates' technology, and you're probably
reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian truck drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexicans
who are in the US illegally because the current president, born in Kenya and educated as a
muslim in Indonesia refuses to enforce US law.

That, my friends, is Globalization!

[Rufus T. Firefly]

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said is was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The girl said, "When I get to heaven I will as Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

[E7]

Best one I've "heard" in a long time!

Rich

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Nun gets into cab…

Cab driver is staring at her...

She says, “What’s wrong?”

He says, “Sister, I always wanted to kiss a nun.”

She says, “Are you single and Catholic.”

He says, “Yes.”

They start kissing…..

He later starts to cry.

She says, “What's wrong?”

He says, “I lied. I’m married and Jewish.”

She says, “It’s ok. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party………."

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Two hunters, Zbyshek and Vladek , got a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose.

The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both...and he had exactly the same airplane as yours."

Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded.

However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness.

Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Zbyshek and Vladek survived the crash.

After climbing out of the wreckage, Zbyshek asked, "Any idea where we are?"

Vladek replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

[J. S. Bach]

(Insert Bronx cheer here!)

[Rufus T. Firefly]

[E7]

Two hunters, Zbyshek and Vladek , got a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose.

For those of you here on the forum who use the term "cabeese" that phrase would read: two big Bull Meese"

Rich