Never question a Drunk!

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E7
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby E7 » Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:19 am

Roger,

Here's couple more of that ilk:

If you come from ____________ county and you get a divorce, are you still brother and sister?

There was a fire at the ____________ county library the other day! All 3 books were burned! Two hadn't even been colored in yet!!!

You can insert the county of your liking!

Rich :mrgreen:

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rogruth
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby rogruth » Mon Apr 06, 2015 1:39 pm

Rich,

It's nice to hear some oldies now and then.I first heard that one when I went to college in Kentucky in 1952.

I still think it is funny. It is good that I retired from teaching some time ago because I would always be in trouble
with politicaly correct stuff. Do you know how the----no,better not.
Last edited by rogruth on Mon Apr 13, 2015 11:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
roger

I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH

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sarge
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby sarge » Mon Apr 06, 2015 3:24 pm

Pretty soon there won't be any new ones to put on this thread and we'll see exchanges like this:

(apologies to those who are victimised by my use of their personna below.)

sarge wrote:
rogruth wrote:
Rufus T. Firefly wrote:
Page 17.



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


I don't get it.
Huh??????


Rufus T. Firefly wrote: Sarge never had a sense of humor...




:D :D

E7
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby E7 » Mon Apr 06, 2015 4:26 pm

Sarge,

Quite true!

I always thought the punch line was: Some can tell 'um and some can't! :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Rich :mrgreen:

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sarge
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby sarge » Mon Apr 06, 2015 4:30 pm

Heard it both ways.

Kind of fun creating it in print using forum protocols, though. :D

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Rufus T. Firefly
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby Rufus T. Firefly » Mon Apr 06, 2015 7:45 pm

Now I feel like...............
.
.
.
.
.
:Image
Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.

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rogruth
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby rogruth » Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:14 pm

Rufus,

I am still as fascinated by this as I was the first time I saw it many, many years ago.
roger

I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH

E7
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby E7 » Tue Apr 07, 2015 10:23 am

Looks like M. C. Esher gone high tech.

Rich

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Rufus T. Firefly
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby Rufus T. Firefly » Tue Apr 07, 2015 11:53 am

E7 wrote:Looks like M. C. Esher gone high tech.


Or, another day at the office...........where everything is downhill.
Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.

E7
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Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 1:35 am

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby E7 » Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:15 pm

PLAYING BAGPIPES AT FUNERALS

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently, I'm still lost.... it's a man thing. :mrgreen:

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rogruth
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby rogruth » Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:51 pm

You had me with that one. :roll: :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
roger

I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH

HONDO74
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby HONDO74 » Wed Apr 22, 2015 5:48 pm

Australian Virgin

A very nice, innocent Australian woman wanted to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never had sex with another woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.

She ends up corresponding with Scotty Greer, who is an average golfer and who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback and he has no experience with women. They meet and she is very happy with him; she feels that they are perfect for each other.

Eventually they end up getting married.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the evening. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked. All the furniture from the room is piled in one corner.

"What happened?" she asks.

"I've never been with a woman" he says, "But if it's anything like a kangaroo, I'm going to need all the room I can get!"

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rogruth
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby rogruth » Wed Apr 22, 2015 8:22 pm

Rotflmao. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
roger

I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH

E7
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby E7 » Thu Apr 23, 2015 11:57 pm

I like it! :mrgreen:

J. S. Bach
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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Postby J. S. Bach » Fri Apr 24, 2015 9:15 pm

E7 wrote:PLAYING BAGPIPES AT FUNERALS Apparently, I'm still lost.... it's a man thing. :mrgreen:


:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :roll: :mrgreen:


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