Never question a Drunk!
Re: Never question a Drunk!
Sounds like US.
roger
I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH
I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH
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Rufus T. Firefly
- Posts: 41982
- Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 7:52 am
- Location: To be Determined
Re: Never question a Drunk!
rogruth wrote:Sounds like US.
Indeed!
As the literacy rate declines, you’ll ask yourself why the quality of life continues to deteriorate in ways large and small, and in almost every instance the answer will be: because people stopped reading.
Re: Never question a Drunk!
Tramp wrote:This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Tramp - my wife wants to know if that's a joke or did it really happen? I said it sounds genuine to me. What's the answer?
Re: Never question a Drunk!
britbloke wrote:Tramp - my wife wants to know if that's a joke or did it really happen? I said it sounds genuine to me. What's the answer?
Mike, Not true per Snopes: http://www.snopes.com/military/lighthouse.asp
I had seen this story (or a very similar version) before, so your question made me curious. Pretty easy to check this stuff using Google or one of the other search engines. I rather like it, true or not!
Rich
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Rufus T. Firefly
- Posts: 41982
- Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 7:52 am
- Location: To be Determined
Re: Never question a Drunk!
Just clowning around................
As the literacy rate declines, you’ll ask yourself why the quality of life continues to deteriorate in ways large and small, and in almost every instance the answer will be: because people stopped reading.
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ANG retired
- Posts: 1977
- Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 10:41 am
- Location: Garage of Doom
Re: Never question a Drunk!
There is a joke there about pricks...
Bob
Rufus T. Firefly wrote:Simplify.....be where everyone else is not.
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ANG retired
- Posts: 1977
- Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 10:41 am
- Location: Garage of Doom
Re: Never question a Drunk!
An 80-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 80-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. 'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.....'
The doctor was shocked!
'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 80-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. 'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.....'
The doctor was shocked!
'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
Bob
Rufus T. Firefly wrote:Simplify.....be where everyone else is not.
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Rufus T. Firefly
- Posts: 41982
- Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 7:52 am
- Location: To be Determined
Re: Never question a Drunk!
More clowning around.......
How you know you've hired the wrong clown for your kids party:
1) By the end of the party, he’s got every kid doing the “pull my finger” trick
2) Clown car must be started with Breathalyzer device
3) Props for his “disappearing” trick include a moving van & your wide screen TV
4) Scares the holy hell out of the kids during the “severed limb” trick
5) Tells the kids that he killed Barney in a Blood Match in Newark
6) Didn’t bring any balloons, but manages to twist your dachshund into other shapes
7) Prefaces each trick with “Here’s a little number I learned in the joint”
8 ) More interested in squirting seltzer into his scotch than into his pants
9) A sad clown is one thing….a clown that spends the entire party with a gun to his temple is another thing entirely
10) Only balloon animals that he can do are a snake & a “snake on acid”
11) Not exactly the PeeWee Herman impression that you were expecting
12) Business cards include the phrase “From the Mind of Stephen King”
13) Price list includes “Lap Dance” & “Around the World”
14) All the balloon animals are ribbed & lubricated
How you know you've hired the wrong clown for your kids party:
1) By the end of the party, he’s got every kid doing the “pull my finger” trick
2) Clown car must be started with Breathalyzer device
3) Props for his “disappearing” trick include a moving van & your wide screen TV
4) Scares the holy hell out of the kids during the “severed limb” trick
5) Tells the kids that he killed Barney in a Blood Match in Newark
6) Didn’t bring any balloons, but manages to twist your dachshund into other shapes
7) Prefaces each trick with “Here’s a little number I learned in the joint”
8 ) More interested in squirting seltzer into his scotch than into his pants
9) A sad clown is one thing….a clown that spends the entire party with a gun to his temple is another thing entirely
10) Only balloon animals that he can do are a snake & a “snake on acid”
11) Not exactly the PeeWee Herman impression that you were expecting
12) Business cards include the phrase “From the Mind of Stephen King”
13) Price list includes “Lap Dance” & “Around the World”
14) All the balloon animals are ribbed & lubricated
As the literacy rate declines, you’ll ask yourself why the quality of life continues to deteriorate in ways large and small, and in almost every instance the answer will be: because people stopped reading.
Re: Never question a Drunk!
Rufus,
You know that clown? Geeeeeeeez!
You know that clown? Geeeeeeeez!
roger
I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH
I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH
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Rufus T. Firefly
- Posts: 41982
- Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 7:52 am
- Location: To be Determined
Re: Never question a Drunk!
rogruth wrote:Rufus,
You know that clown? Geeeeeeeez!
Hey, Roger! Pull my finger!
As the literacy rate declines, you’ll ask yourself why the quality of life continues to deteriorate in ways large and small, and in almost every instance the answer will be: because people stopped reading.
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MurphOnMillerAve
- Posts: 18489
- Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2008 10:18 pm
- Location: Kennywood Park
- Contact:
Re: Never question a Drunk!
I thought that was my job!
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dougdagrump
- Posts: 550
- Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:25 am
- Location: SoCal
- Contact:
Re: Never question a Drunk!
Rufus T. Firefly wrote:Just clowning around................
That is definitely what one might classify as a Prickley Situation.
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Rufus T. Firefly
- Posts: 41982
- Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 7:52 am
- Location: To be Determined
Re: Never question a Drunk!
More clowning around.........
As the literacy rate declines, you’ll ask yourself why the quality of life continues to deteriorate in ways large and small, and in almost every instance the answer will be: because people stopped reading.
Re: Never question a Drunk!
Rufus,
Even with all of your clowning around,I think I would recognize you if we ever met.
[I'm not going to say how but you know.]
Even with all of your clowning around,I think I would recognize you if we ever met.
[I'm not going to say how but you know.]
roger
I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH
I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH
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