Friday Funnies

[sleepmac]

"One or two more of those and we're going to declare you a disaster area! "

LOL

Dan Weinhold

[HONDO74]

It's estimated that with all the closings of hair salons, 88% of the blondes in the US will disappear.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

It's estimated that with all the closings of hair salons, 88% of the blondes in the US will disappear.

But it does seem that there is an urgent need to re-open tattoo parlors..............

[MurphOnMillerAve]

It's estimated that with all the closings of hair salons, 88% of the blondes in the US will disappear.

But it does seem that there is an urgent need to re-open tattoo parlors..............

Weill, now, that much goes without saying.

[up148]

Speaks volumes.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Speaks volumes.

Apparently it's a critical need business in SC and GA

[up148]

Speaks volumes.

[rogruth]

It's estimated that with all the closings of hair salons, 88% of the blondes in the US will disappear.

But it does seem that there is an urgent need to re-open tattoo parlors..............

Weill, now, that much goes without saying.

I'm embarrassed.

[HONDO74]

An Oldie But a GOODIE......

Blessed are those that can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'

The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week'

The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

As Ronald Reagan said: “Both politicians and diapers need to be changed often and for the same reason.”

[chuck]

As Ronald Reagan said: “Both politicians and diapers need to be changed often and for the same reason.”

Except that leads to a string of incompetent politicians that follow the "advice" of the lobbyist that they are beholden too. This ultimately leads to ineffective government. The politicians are "bought" but this time "legally". They aren't doing the peoples work, they are doing the lobbyist work.

Michigan passed term limits laws on state elected officials about 30 years ago and we have had nothing but problems with incompetent elected officials (from both parties) where they come in green and don't know how the government they are supposed to be running works. There is no "mentoring" by previous members and they have a tendency to vote blindly on matters choosing to dance to the tune of the lobbying group that provided them the most campaign money. They serve their limits and then go to work for the lobbyists ensuring the cycle continues. In the past they had to learn to "play well with others" and to understand that this isn't supposed to be a zero sum game, winner takes all. There used to be a sense of give and take and that compromise was a necessity to get the work of the people done. Used to be.

All elected officials have built in term limits, they serve at the pleasure of their voters. If the voters are too lazy/stupid to actually look at the politicians record and make an intelligent choice, so be it. If you continue to elect people that claim that government is inherently bad you are going to wind up with bad government. As a country we have the lowest voter turnout of any "developed country". This has lead to decisions where the "winner" has been elected by as little as 25% of the possible voters. In local elections like school board or township officials it can be even lower, in some cases as little as 10%. This is inherently bad and we have no one to blame but ourselves.

[HONDO74]

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

[HONDO74]

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Funnier yet, or ironic maybe is the web site; NativePakistan

[HONDO74]

I cross ocean, poor and broke,
Take bus, See employment folk.
Nice man Treat me good in there, Say I need go see Welfare.
Welfare say, 'You come no more,
we send cash right to your door.'
Welfare checks, they make you wealthy,
Medicaid It keep you healthy!
By and by, Got plenty money,
Thanks to you, TAXPAYER dummy.

Write to friends in motherland,
Tell them 'come, fast as you can'
they come in buses And Chevy trucks,
I buy big house With welfare bucks.
They come here, we live together,
More welfare checks, It gets better!
Fourteen families, they moving in,
But neighbor's patience Wearing thin.
Finally, white guy Moves away,
I buy his house, and then I say,
'Find more aliens for house to rent.'
In my yard I put a tent.
Send for family they just trash,
but they, too, Draw welfare cash!
Everything is Very good, Soon we own Whole neighborhood..

We have hobby it called breeding,
Welfare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wife needs pills?
We get free! We got no bills!
TAXPAYER crazy! He pay all year, to keep welfare Running here.
We think America Darn good place! Too darn good For white man race.
If they no like us, they can go, got lots of room In Middle East, and Mexico.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Not funny; sad..........