Political "Seen in Print" Humor
Re: Political "Seen in Print" Humor
I lady told my daughter about “ free cotton candy “ she tells the kid “ it’s down the road in a county park” My kid “ dad can we go can we go can we go?” Then they lady tells me “ go it’s a nice pride festival “ Me “ no thanks don’t need my 9 year old to see a guy in a leather thong” The she yap’s something about me being small minded “
I spend entirely too many hours a day tying my shoes
Re: Political "Seen in Print" Humor
eer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter') learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men "evolved" into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern Liberals like special flavored beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine spritzers or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are liberals.
Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and also to just irritate a bunch of liberals. And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks!
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter') learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men "evolved" into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern Liberals like special flavored beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine spritzers or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are liberals.
Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and also to just irritate a bunch of liberals. And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks!
Re: Political "Seen in Print" Humor
robert. wrote:I lady told my daughter about “ free cotton candy “ she tells the kid “ it’s down the road in a county park” My kid “ dad can we go can we go can we go?” Then they lady tells me “ go it’s a nice pride festival “ Me “ no thanks don’t need my 9 year old to see a guy in a leather thong” The she yap’s something about me being small minded “
Is this a joke or real? I can see it happening, but this is a humor thread, so I gotta ask. If this is real, I hope you read that lady the "riot act" in no uncertain terms. What a sick b*tch.
Re: Political "Seen in Print" Humor
Many repeats, but worth the read anyway.
"WE'RE CHURNING OUT A GENERATION OF POORLY EDUCATED PEOPLE WITH NO SKILL, NO AMBITION, NO GUIDANCE, AND NO REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT IT MEANS TO GO TO WORK."
~MIKE ROWE
"IF KIDS KNEW WHAT THEY WANTED TO BE AT AGE EIGHT, THE WORLD WOULD BE FILLED WITH COWBOYS AND PRINCESSES. I WANTED TO BE A PIRATE. THANK GOODNESS NOBODY TOOK ME SERIOUSLY AND SCHEDULED ME FOR EYE REMOVAL AND PEG LEG SURGERY."
~BILL MAHER
* WE DON'T LET ATHLETES BET ON GAMES THEY HAVE THE ABILITY TO INFLUENCE. SO WHY DO WE ALLOW CONGRESS TO INVEST IN COMPANIES THEY REGULATE?
* WHY IS IT THAT WHEN ARCHEOLOGISTS FIND HUMAN REMAINS, THEY ALWAYS DETERMINE THAT THEY ARE EITHER MALE OR FEMALE AND NONE OF THE OTHER DEMOCRAT-PRODUCED GENDERS?
* HOW IS IT THAT THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION COMPLAINS THAT IT CAN'T CONTROL GASOLINE PRICES, BUT THE WEATHER (CLIMATE CHANGE) IS SOMETHING IT CAN FIX?
* WHY ARE WE TOLD TO LOWER OUR A/C USAGE ON HOT DAYS TO PREVENT OVERWHELMING THE ELECTRIC GRID WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BEING TOLD TO TRADE IN OUR GAS CARS FOR ELECTRIC VEHICLES?
* WHY IS CANCELING STUDENT DEBT A GOOD IDEA? DOES IT MAKE SENSE TO REWARD PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HONOR THEIR FINANCIAL COMMITMENT BY TAXING THE PEOPLE WHO DO?
* IT APPEARS WE ARE LIVING IN A TIME WHERE INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ARE SILENCED SO THAT STUPID PEOPLE WON'T BE OFFENDED.
* IF AN 18 YEAR OLD ISN'T MATURE ENOUGH TO BUY AND OWN A FIREARM, THEN MAYBE EIGHT YEAR OLD'S AREN'T MATURE ENOUGH TO CHANGE THEIR GENDER.
* IS THIS AN APT DESCRIPTION OF AMERICA? ANDY HAS LEFT MAYBERRY AND BARNEY IS NOW IN CHARGE!
* WHY IS TALKING SEXUALLY IN THE WORKPLACE CONSIDERED SEXUAL HARASSMENT TO ADULTS, BUT TALKING ABOUT SEXUALITY TO CHILDREN IN K-3 AT SCHOOL CONSIDERED ESSENTIAL?
* WHO ELSE BESIDE JOE BIDEN HAD A "MINISTRY OF TRUTH"? A: HITLER,
GOEBBELS & STALIN!
* I ONCE SAW A MOVIE WHERE ONLY THE POLICE AND MILITARY HAD GUNS. IT WAS CALLED SCHINDLER'S LIST.
* IF YOUR ELECTRIC CAR RUNS OUT OF POWER ON THE INTERSTATE, DO YOU WALK TO A CHARGING STATION TO GET A BUCKET OF ELECTRICITY?
* WHY ARE WE RUNNING OUT OF MONEY FOR SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE BUT NOT FOR WELFARE, ILLEGALS AND THEIR FREE COLLEGE?
* MICE DIE IN MOUSE TRAPS BECAUSE THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THE CHEESE IS FREE. THE SAME THING HAPPENS WITH SOCIALISM.
* WANT TO STOP DRUNK DRIVERS FROM KILLING SOBER DRIVERS? BAN SOBER DRIVERS FROM DRIVING. THAT'S HOW GUN CONTROL WORKS.
* IF SOCIALISM IS SO GOOD AND CAPITALISM IS SO BAD, THEN WHY AREN'T THE IMMIGRANT CARAVANS HEADING TO VENEZUELA?
* IF YOU DON'T WANT TO STAND FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GIVE YOUR LEGS TO A VETERAN WHO LOST HIS. THAT WAY A REAL AMERICAN CAN STAND IN YOUR PLACE.
HISTORY IS NOT THERE FOR US TO LIKE OR DISLIKE. IT IS THERE FOR US TO LEARN FROM IT. AND IF IT OFFENDS YOU, EVEN BETTER, BECAUSE THEN YOU ARE LESS LIKELY TO REPEAT IT. IT IS NOT ANYONE'S TO ERASE. HISTORY BELONGS TO ALL OF US.
"WE'RE CHURNING OUT A GENERATION OF POORLY EDUCATED PEOPLE WITH NO SKILL, NO AMBITION, NO GUIDANCE, AND NO REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT IT MEANS TO GO TO WORK."
~MIKE ROWE
"IF KIDS KNEW WHAT THEY WANTED TO BE AT AGE EIGHT, THE WORLD WOULD BE FILLED WITH COWBOYS AND PRINCESSES. I WANTED TO BE A PIRATE. THANK GOODNESS NOBODY TOOK ME SERIOUSLY AND SCHEDULED ME FOR EYE REMOVAL AND PEG LEG SURGERY."
~BILL MAHER
* WE DON'T LET ATHLETES BET ON GAMES THEY HAVE THE ABILITY TO INFLUENCE. SO WHY DO WE ALLOW CONGRESS TO INVEST IN COMPANIES THEY REGULATE?
* WHY IS IT THAT WHEN ARCHEOLOGISTS FIND HUMAN REMAINS, THEY ALWAYS DETERMINE THAT THEY ARE EITHER MALE OR FEMALE AND NONE OF THE OTHER DEMOCRAT-PRODUCED GENDERS?
* HOW IS IT THAT THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION COMPLAINS THAT IT CAN'T CONTROL GASOLINE PRICES, BUT THE WEATHER (CLIMATE CHANGE) IS SOMETHING IT CAN FIX?
* WHY ARE WE TOLD TO LOWER OUR A/C USAGE ON HOT DAYS TO PREVENT OVERWHELMING THE ELECTRIC GRID WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BEING TOLD TO TRADE IN OUR GAS CARS FOR ELECTRIC VEHICLES?
* WHY IS CANCELING STUDENT DEBT A GOOD IDEA? DOES IT MAKE SENSE TO REWARD PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HONOR THEIR FINANCIAL COMMITMENT BY TAXING THE PEOPLE WHO DO?
* IT APPEARS WE ARE LIVING IN A TIME WHERE INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ARE SILENCED SO THAT STUPID PEOPLE WON'T BE OFFENDED.
* IF AN 18 YEAR OLD ISN'T MATURE ENOUGH TO BUY AND OWN A FIREARM, THEN MAYBE EIGHT YEAR OLD'S AREN'T MATURE ENOUGH TO CHANGE THEIR GENDER.
* IS THIS AN APT DESCRIPTION OF AMERICA? ANDY HAS LEFT MAYBERRY AND BARNEY IS NOW IN CHARGE!
* WHY IS TALKING SEXUALLY IN THE WORKPLACE CONSIDERED SEXUAL HARASSMENT TO ADULTS, BUT TALKING ABOUT SEXUALITY TO CHILDREN IN K-3 AT SCHOOL CONSIDERED ESSENTIAL?
* WHO ELSE BESIDE JOE BIDEN HAD A "MINISTRY OF TRUTH"? A: HITLER,
GOEBBELS & STALIN!
* I ONCE SAW A MOVIE WHERE ONLY THE POLICE AND MILITARY HAD GUNS. IT WAS CALLED SCHINDLER'S LIST.
* IF YOUR ELECTRIC CAR RUNS OUT OF POWER ON THE INTERSTATE, DO YOU WALK TO A CHARGING STATION TO GET A BUCKET OF ELECTRICITY?
* WHY ARE WE RUNNING OUT OF MONEY FOR SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE BUT NOT FOR WELFARE, ILLEGALS AND THEIR FREE COLLEGE?
* MICE DIE IN MOUSE TRAPS BECAUSE THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THE CHEESE IS FREE. THE SAME THING HAPPENS WITH SOCIALISM.
* WANT TO STOP DRUNK DRIVERS FROM KILLING SOBER DRIVERS? BAN SOBER DRIVERS FROM DRIVING. THAT'S HOW GUN CONTROL WORKS.
* IF SOCIALISM IS SO GOOD AND CAPITALISM IS SO BAD, THEN WHY AREN'T THE IMMIGRANT CARAVANS HEADING TO VENEZUELA?
* IF YOU DON'T WANT TO STAND FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GIVE YOUR LEGS TO A VETERAN WHO LOST HIS. THAT WAY A REAL AMERICAN CAN STAND IN YOUR PLACE.
HISTORY IS NOT THERE FOR US TO LIKE OR DISLIKE. IT IS THERE FOR US TO LEARN FROM IT. AND IF IT OFFENDS YOU, EVEN BETTER, BECAUSE THEN YOU ARE LESS LIKELY TO REPEAT IT. IT IS NOT ANYONE'S TO ERASE. HISTORY BELONGS TO ALL OF US.
Re: Political "Seen in Print" Humor
Politically, I think Pence is dead, but Tucker has more class than that. Either AI or photoshop.
If you agree with the Progressives, it's freedom of speech. If you disagree, it's hate speech. There are no alternatives.
Re: Political "Seen in Print" Humor
FOR SALE
My white privilege card Over 60 years old but in mint condition. never been used. Reason for selling: It hasn't done a thing for me' NO free college, no free food, no free housing. no free anything. I've had to go to work every day of my life while paying a boatload of taxes to carry those who chose not to work.
If interested, I prefer cash but willing to do an even trade for a VICTIM Card which seems much more widely accepted and comes with countless benefits....Interested? Contact me on my non-Obama cell phone that I have to pay for every month.”
My white privilege card Over 60 years old but in mint condition. never been used. Reason for selling: It hasn't done a thing for me' NO free college, no free food, no free housing. no free anything. I've had to go to work every day of my life while paying a boatload of taxes to carry those who chose not to work.
If interested, I prefer cash but willing to do an even trade for a VICTIM Card which seems much more widely accepted and comes with countless benefits....Interested? Contact me on my non-Obama cell phone that I have to pay for every month.”
Re: Political "Seen in Print" Humor
Sad but True. We're so far down the rabbit hole I'm not sure we'll ever see daylight. 
Re: Political "Seen in Print" Humor
I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there 
Re: Political "Seen in Print" Humor
up148 wrote:Many repeats, but worth the read anyway.
....
* IF YOU DON'T WANT TO STAND FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GIVE YOUR LEGS TO A VETERAN WHO LOST HIS. THAT WAY A REAL AMERICAN CAN STAND IN YOUR PLACE.
HISTORY IS NOT THERE FOR US TO LIKE OR DISLIKE. IT IS THERE FOR US TO LEARN FROM IT. AND IF IT OFFENDS YOU, EVEN BETTER, BECAUSE THEN YOU ARE LESS LIKELY TO REPEAT IT. IT IS NOT ANYONE'S TO ERASE. HISTORY BELONGS TO ALL OF US.
Love this! Absolutely love this! Thank you!!!!!
George
What is a 'Conservative'? "Someone who wants society and policy to recognize objective reality- economic, biological, and historical."
—Katy Faust
—Katy Faust
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