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Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2021 11:02 am
by Rufus T. Firefly
MurphOnMillerAve wrote:Wait. What?
During all that handling , esp. the washing, you did not realize you were handling a corpse?!


You did not get the joke!

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2021 11:11 am
by chuck
Think Pet Sematary (Stephen King Horror Story)

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2021 12:29 pm
by MurphOnMillerAve
Rufus T. Firefly wrote:
MurphOnMillerAve wrote:Wait. What?
During all that handling , esp. the washing, you did not realize you were handling a corpse?!


You did not get the joke!

Oh, I got it, alrighty, and liked it. Their dead rabbit had (been) returned, apparently , having been unearthed by the dog ("resurrected" as it were,) which was unknown to them and the returner of the rabbit. Cute. Funnziez.

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2021 1:12 pm
by Rufus T. Firefly
MurphOnMillerAve wrote:
Rufus T. Firefly wrote:
MurphOnMillerAve wrote:Wait. What?
During all that handling , esp. the washing, you did not realize you were handling a corpse?!


You did not get the joke!

Oh, I got it, alrighty, and liked it. Their dead rabbit had (been) returned, apparently , having been unearthed by the dog ("resurrected" as it were,) which was unknown to them and the returner of the rabbit. Cute. Funnziez.


Pet Sematary crossed with Poltergeist......

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2021 2:27 pm
by HONDO74
An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the pilot and asked, are you a real pilot ?

He replied, "well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, the early Grummans... flew a wildcat and Corsair in WWII and later in the Korea conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more that 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, you, what are you ?

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I take a shower, I think about about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think about naked women.

The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: "are you a real pilot ?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'M a LESBIAN

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2021 4:40 am
by MurphOnMillerAve
Rufus, Ref, your latest Avatar picture:
....almost as other-worldly as what is actually populating the deeper parts of "our" oceans; have you ever seen a
Sea Angel :shock: :idea: :!: :?:

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2021 8:24 am
by Rufus T. Firefly
MurphOnMillerAve wrote:Rufus, Ref, your latest Avatar picture:
....almost as other-worldly as what is actually populating the deeper parts of "our" oceans;


Tee-hee, :wink: :wink:

have you ever seen a
Sea Angel :shock: :idea: :!: :?:


Not personally, but pictures.

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2021 10:51 am
by MurphOnMillerAve
Yeah, and did you think they were similar to or were related to anyother life forms native to this planet ?

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2021 11:20 am
by Rufus T. Firefly
MurphOnMillerAve wrote:Yeah, and did you think they were similar to or were related to anyother life forms native to this planet ?


Not given it any real thought given I don't know every life form on this planet past or present in my philosophy.

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2021 8:44 pm
by E7
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions.
One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." I don't think I have ever heard
of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?"
"Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind.
Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper
in her ear:

"Boy, these feel just like your sister's."
Then you try and hold on for 8 seconds

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2021 10:01 pm
by MurphOnMillerAve
Rufus T. Firefly wrote:
MurphOnMillerAve wrote:Yeah, and did you think they were similar to or were related to anyother life forms native to this planet ?


Not given it any real thought given I don't know every life form on this planet past or present in my philosophy.

That's safe.

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2021 6:22 pm
by Rufus T. Firefly
A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after an 18 hour shift.

She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted clerk and without missing a beat, says,

"Well, that's great! Some a$$hole's has my pen!"

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 7:56 am
by Rufus T. Firefly
Two cowboys are lost in the desert.
One cowboy sees a tree draped with bacon.

"A bacon tree! We're saved!", he says.
He runs to the tree and is shot up in a fusillade of bullets.

It wasn't a bacon tree after all. It was a ham bush....

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 9:13 am
by E7
*****groan (5 star groaner)

Re: Never question a Drunk!

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 9:53 am
by Rufus T. Firefly
E7 wrote:*****groan (5 star groaner)


Yup! Just what is needed on a Tuesday.......