Helpful People

[MurphOnMillerAve]

These past two months and eleven days have been a scary time for me. Uncertainty. Unsteadiness. Discombobulating. Not the way I am accustomed to handling my life.

Yet, throughout each day of it, and in some cases, every hour of it, the most amazing (and unexpected) assortment of people have, at their own volition, unsolicited by me, been tremendously helpful, stepping forward and volunteering to do things and help me with tasks that were completely unfamiliar to me, my having had no experience in certain particular endeavors previously.

I have begun to win, again, at life, because of them and my own determination to accomplish.

And it feels good (even at the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Agency, which I tackled this morning, getting everything necessary accomplished totally unpainfully. Each bureaucrat with whom I had to line-up in long-lines to experience was completely helpful and efficient and pleasant.

Have any of you had people step forward to be helpful to you, and it made all the difference?
Murph

[Roy]

I had to pass a DMV vision test recently, which meant I had to go to the ophthalmologist for a check up and new prescription, then get the new glasses, before doing the DMV thing. I let everything go til the last minute, but everyone involved was very nice, including those at the DMV.

When I got to the DMV, only a day or two before the deadline, the computer in Sacramento was down. I waited outside with others, not knowing if I would get in at all that day. In an hour or less, they got the computer back up, and started letting us in. They had people to direct you where to go at every stage of your visit. Like you say, it was very painless.

[webenda]

I know the feeling Murph. I considered moving but realized that I would be taking my depression and loneliness with me, so I stayed and spent more time with friends.

Before my wife or I died, our family lawyer told us how to set up all our possessions to avoid probate. She was a tremendous help in our preparing ahead of time.

When my wife died the family lawyer told me exactly what to do to keep family from claiming my wife's possessions (remove her name from every legal document.) She also arranged for a probate lawyer to act as my estate executor to avoid fighting amongst my family and inlaws (I hope.)

I am not grateful that my inlaws called my wife constantly to "borrow" money, never to be paid back, the entire 38 years we were married because it made her cry to think they never spoke to her for any other reason.

But I am so grateful that my inlaws;
1. Came to Tucson on one-way tickets then begged me for money to return,
2. Arranged a viewing of my wife's body (her will said, "No viewing.") then did not pay for it,
3. Started hitting me up for money when they got back home,
4. Complained constantly that they were "Thrown under the bus" because they did not get the house my wife and I bought and lived in, her car, all her possessions, her bank account, etc, etc.

The first time they called I told them I had no money for them.

From them on, instead of "Hello?", I answered, "Why are you calling me, I have no money for you!"

Their calling for money lasted two years before they gave up.

I am grateful that the inlaws made it so easy for me to divorce them all. Yes, they were a big help.

[MurphOnMillerAve]

Nice. Thank you, Roy, and Thank you, Wayne, for those replies. I thought this new thread might just go "THUD" and quickly drop to the bottom of the stack, with not a single reply, but your replies are interesting and appreciated. Posting something that I hoped might be interesting to other voices here was my goal, so I am more than pleasantly surprised by the camaraderie of what you have shared.
Real nice.
Murph

[chuck]

About 30 years ago I had to make an unplanned trip out east because my greatgrandmother had passed away. Deb stayed home with Jeanine (she was in real school) and I took Doug who was just about 5 years old. We flew in and were supposed to fly out of Newark airport on Northwest. This was before cell phones.

My mom and sisters dropped us at the airport and started the 45 minute drive back to Pearl River. Before we can board the plane the flight was cancelled because the plane broke down. Northwest comes up with the bright idea of bussing the 120 passengers to JFK to put us on a 747 that's only 1/3 full ( it's going to Tokoyo by way of Detroit, Minneapolis, Seattle, and Anchorage). They pile us onto three buses and head for the Holland Tunnel to drive the 1 1/2 hour drive to JFK. We get to the toll plaza (about 10 minutes from Newark airport) and one of the busses breaks down. Now they try to cram us onto two busses. Checked bags are not an issue but carry on is another story, plus I'm carrying the 5 year old on my hip. I was very grateful to the folks that helped me wrestle the bag into an overhead bin and I remember a few of them glaring at some of the others who never even offered up a seat for the child or even offered to help the three or four of us with small children. Northwest kept the crew at JFK aware of our situation, made sure we got expedited passage to the gate and informed the folks in Detroit about what was going on.

Other than a few *0's on the bus everybody pitched in and made what could have been a nightmare workable. We got home 2 hours later than we planned but we did get home.

[Roy]

I am grateful that the inlaws made it so easy for me to divorce them all. Yes, they were a big help.

I'm sorry to hear that. I know how much you cared about your wife.

[up148]

I am grateful that the inlaws made it so easy for me to divorce them all. Yes, they were a big help.

I'm sorry to hear that. I know how much you cared about your wife.

Yes, that is really sad. Amazing how extended family (and immediate) smell opportunity when there is a death in family. I've seen it 1st hand as well, but fortunately with my parents and grandparents and not my spouse.
BH