Seen in Print

[HONDO74]

[rogruth]

Harbor Freight seems to be giving Acme a run for its money.

[Big Jim]

I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business, when this fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my *** and said, "You're kind of cute, you gotta a phone number?" I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah", I got a pen."
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me 6 stitches.
When you are over seventy, who gives a **** ?
***********
Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."
When you are over seventy, who gives a ****
***********
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
When you are over seventy, who gives a ****
***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said: "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
When you are over seventy, who gives a ****
***********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over seventy, who gives a ****
***********
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
When you are over seventy, who gives a ****

[J. S. Bach]

Acme, the source for all good and useful items of this ilk.

Beep beep.

[Tom Dempsey]

Can I get it printed in FUD?

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Hold on to that dream...........

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Yup!

[webenda]

Thank you Rufus, for telling us what your avatar is this week--I never would have guessed this one.

[rogruth]

You mean that creamed corn reference? Egad.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Thank you Rufus, for telling us what your avatar is this week--I never would have guessed this one.

It goes back to events of several years ago on the 2 rail part of MTJ, and it finally cycled up in its particular folder on Photobucket - it's time had come for use.....

[robert.]

Thank you Rufus, for telling us what your avatar is this week--I never would have guessed this one.

It goes back to events of several years ago on the 2 rail part of MTJ, and it finally cycled up in its particular folder on Photobucket - it's time had come for use.....

Philly's sports talk radio station has a wing eating contest. To qualify you must do some feat of gluttony. A guy claimed he could eat 7 cans of creamed corn cold in 5 minutes. So they bring him in at 6.30 in the morning to try this live on air. Half way through the 4th can he heaves cream corn all over the sound room. Now they make people try their eating skills in the lobby.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Now they make people try their eating skills in the lobby.

I'd think that they'd do that out in the parking lot and have a hose ready to go.

[J. S. Bach]

Thank you Rufus, for telling us what your avatar is this week--I never would have guessed this one.

Looks more like a present that my cat gave me this morning in the laundry room.

[webenda]

--

[J. S. Bach]

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