Seen in Print

[Rufus T. Firefly]

[rogruth]

:lol:

Just wanted to add my $.01 worth.

[MurphOnMillerAve]

Mean. Yeah, you two.

[rogruth]

Yeah, maybe. Of course we don't like to be reminded that the deer that eat our bushes
and the coyotes, etc., that eat some animals were here long before we were.

[sarge]

Actually the dam coyotes weren't. They are an invasive species east of the Mississippi having followed modern humans.

Sorry, there are a very few things my twisted mind doesn't find funny, and some child's pet eaten by coyotes is one of them.

Moving right along...

[Tony-h]

I'm with you, Sarge

Taint funny, McGee!

[Rufus T. Firefly]

I thought the modern humans were the invasive species..........

[MurphOnMillerAve]

Tony-h's "Taint funny, McGee" made me think about some messages "seen in print" in NJ today. Don't kill the bears. They decry the shooting/culling of the bear population which is now in progress.

The bear are beautiful, yes, but I wish they would be beautiful somewhere else; perhaps a silly notion, I'll grant you. HOWEVER, quite near here, a 20-somwthing male college student was EATEN alive by a bear a couple months ago. Bear have been seen trundling down major thoroughfares very near my house - like right across the street. They've been photographed relaxing alongside Rt. 80 just outside of Paterson, no less, a very busy place. They appear to fear NOTHING and nobody.

The way I see it, let some do-gooder's kid or pet get eaten by any one of the 3,500 bear (a number "seen in print" in today's local newspaper) reputed to populate NJ (we live in Zone 5), and you may see them carry a different sign. IMunHO. The bear have been pushing on people's sliding glass doors, pushing and pushing for entry. They lounge on decks here in suburbia. At 700lbs, they are NOT "Teddy Bears." They are not looking for a petting or a cuddle. They mean business. IMunHO.

And then there are the deer. They have completely denuded everything green - even evergreens (not any more they aren't) shrubs supposed to be not to their liking - HA! To replace the deer-bared shrubs, I even planted holly, having been assured they were deer-proof, being too spiky. Nope. The deer seemed to prefer the holly, stripping every such shrub down to dry twigs.

Oh, poor Murph. He has a yard of twigs.

Is this a rant? I don't know.

So, I'll continue. Turn away if this rankles you. Please.

I have been told that all along my 2-mile walks, through this end of suburbia, New Jersey style, some of it down a narrow rural-type, river-edge road, that the coyotes are aplenty and that I should go armed. I do, nowadays.

When I walk outside at night to take out the garbage, for example, I do go "armed" with a club. Against what will that do any good? I have no idea. But I sure am not going out there with only my...good intentions...in my hand. I've seen their tracks in the mud of my used-to-be lawn, daily. Nightly?

I don't even know if I'd have the guts to wack a deer across the face, which is what I have often said I'd dearly like and prefer to do, with a club, for grazing in my yard, chomping away at the remaining twigs. But I'd sure like to think I would give one a good CLOP! Oh, yeah, harrr-dee-harrrharrr...sure I would.

Last summer, I did go out, at dusk, into my front-yard, and sure enough, there stood a BIG 'un in the yard, not 10' away from me, rack 'n all, seemingly on vacation. I said to myself that there was my chance to take my stand and discourage him and his clan forever by using my club. He looked at me and must have seen or sensed my hesitation. He actually looked into my eyes and snorted, seemingly in disgust or ridicule, at me, as if to say, "Shut the...up and stepback, bi..h. You aint gonna do nuttin'." He was right.

OK. So, have a good laugh at my expense, fellow warriors, I can take it (no, I won't shed any tears "like a little girl" .) But tell me. What should I do about all the bear and deer and, likely, the coyotes making an ever more apparent path through my yard and the neighboring stands of trees and riversides, as well as throughout a goodly portion of northern NJ ? Carry a sign? Saying what? Carry my trusty, though currently unused, stick? Wasp spray?

I'd like to find a balance but don't know where to look or to whom to listen. So, I type my feeble whine here for your amusement and/or advice, which ever comes first, or at all.

Rant over. Maybe. LOL. Maybe.
Murph, the shrubless suburbanite

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Bears are flat out dangerous.

One got on our campus and that totally disrupted the entire police and security forces - never saw so many guys running about in total disarray.......

Deer can be very dangerous as well. Also have a small herd on campus - can't shoot or hunt them so they track them down and spay the females......

I'd be more worried about smaller critters while in the woods that you might startle.

Then again, humans probably pose the biggest threat and hazard.

[MurphOnMillerAve]

Bears are flat out dangerous.

One got on our campus and that totally disrupted the entire police and security forces - never saw so many guys running about in total disarray.......

Deer can be very dangerous as well. Also have a small herd on campus - can't shoot or hunt them so they track them down and spay the females......

I'd be more worried about smaller critters while in the woods that you might startle.

Then again, humans probably pose the biggest threat and hazard.

Funny, I don't feel fearsome when among 'em.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Bears are flat out dangerous.

One got on our campus and that totally disrupted the entire police and security forces - never saw so many guys running about in total disarray.......

Deer can be very dangerous as well. Also have a small herd on campus - can't shoot or hunt them so they track them down and spay the females......

I'd be more worried about smaller critters while in the woods that you might startle.

Then again, humans probably pose the biggest threat and hazard.

Funny, I don't feel fearsome when among 'em.

And, that's why they pose the biggest threat and hazard.

[MurphOnMillerAve]

There you go making perfect sense again, Rufus.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

There you go making perfect sense again, Rufus.

Me and Moriarty with all those negative waves, man.

[Tom Dempsey]

We have all those critters up here, plus the one's that really spook me. Cougars and Moose. And just so you know, a Moose will call your three quarter ton pickup truck their bitch and star you down while they're doing it. My father hit an elk with his 1968 Fiat 124 Spyder in the early 70's in Idaho, the elk walked away, the Fiat was totaled. Moose are even bigger and have more attitude. Wolfs, coyotes, bears, and even cougars you can usually run off if you make enough noise. Not a moose, they're just flat out fearless.

[healey36]

Twenty years ago we first started seeing coyotes with any regularity. They generally stayed far from the edge of town, but occasionally would venture in to the outskirts.

One evening I was over at a buddy's place out near Darlington, up in the northeast corer of Maryland about a mile from Conowingo Dam. His house sits on the edge of town, built on what had been a pasture. At some point well after sundown his wife asked me to roll their trash-bin down to the road, about a hundred yard walk down the lane from the house. No problem, the dog jumped up to escort me.

A moonless evening, I wheeled the big green bin down their long driveway, just enough light from the distant porch light to make my way. About a third of the way back to the house the dog suddenly drops on her belly in the grass along the lane, growling softly at something. I knew they'd seen coyotes up near the house and I suddenly wasn't feeling too good.

Peering through squinted eyes, I could just make out something, gray and squatting in the high grass fifteen or so yards ahead of us, ten feet or so off the lane. It was between us and the house so there was no chance to easily get around it and make a run for it. The dog was dead still, no tail-wagging...dammit. Whatever it was, it wasn't moving, just sitting there waiting to make its move.

"Fudge," I whispered to myself. As quietly as I could I scraped one of my feet around feeling for a loose stone or something on the driveway. Reaching down ever so slowly I picked up a sizable rock and stood up. The dog was still laying dead-still in the grass, peering out at the beast. Ever so slowly I cocked my arm and let it fly, rewarded by a direct hit.

Thunk!

"What the...?" I said. The dog, hearing this, immediately jumped up, tail wagging, running around in circles. Cautiously I walked over to the "coyote"...it was a kid's plastic Big-Wheel tricycle.

Lucky for the dog she was a fast runner...she took one look at me and bolted for the house.

Healey