Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, ...

Play nice and have fun...
J. S. Bach
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Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, ...

Postby J. S. Bach » Wed Sep 16, 2020 5:45 pm

...nothing else. A young girl with green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today? I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" I just say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance."

The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Have you ever noticed: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he knows when he's really in trouble.

Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs?"

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.

Ah! Being young is exciting but being old is comfortable.

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

May you always have:
Love to share,
Cash to spare,
Tires with air,
And friends who care.

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chuck
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Re: Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, ...

Postby chuck » Wed Sep 16, 2020 6:26 pm

Good stuff. Made me smile. I needed that AND I appreciate it.

Thanks!!!!
Once I built a railroad, I made it run,
Made it race against time.
Once I built a railroad, now it's done --
Brother, can you spare a dime?

J. S. Bach
Posts: 5820
Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 8:30 pm

Re: Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, ...

Postby J. S. Bach » Fri Sep 18, 2020 10:07 pm

Glad that you liked it.

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G3750
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Location: Cranberry Township, PA USA

Re: Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, ...

Postby G3750 » Sat Sep 19, 2020 6:01 am

That was terrific!

George
What is a 'Conservative'? "Someone who wants society and policy to recognize objective reality- economic, biological, and historical."

—Katy Faust

E7
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Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 1:35 am

Re: Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, ...

Postby E7 » Sun Sep 20, 2020 8:56 pm

Please explain to me why anyone would allow a box full of cat crap to sit around in their house? If the critter can't find it's way outside to take a dump, it's NOT getting in my place. Shows cats are smarter than the people that own them. :mrgreen:

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rogruth
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Re: Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, ...

Postby rogruth » Sun Sep 20, 2020 9:56 pm

I used to put when it asked sex "Of course and often".
Liked your list, Dave.
roger

I support thread drift.
If God didn't want women to be looked at, He would have made 'em ugly. RAH

Rufus T. Firefly
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Re: Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, ...

Postby Rufus T. Firefly » Mon Sep 21, 2020 7:14 am

E7 wrote: Shows cats are smarter than the people that own them.


People do not own cats; cats own people. They merely tolerate humans.
Conservatism: The intense fear that somewhere, somehow, someone you think is inferior is being treated as your equal.

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MurphOnMillerAve
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Re: Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, ...

Postby MurphOnMillerAve » Mon Sep 21, 2020 7:16 am

Rufus T. Firefly wrote:
E7 wrote: Shows cats are smarter than the people that own them.


People do not own cats; cats own people. They merely tolerate humans.

True that! :D

E7
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Re: Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, ...

Postby E7 » Wed Sep 23, 2020 2:44 am

Rufus T. Firefly wrote:
E7 wrote: Shows cats are smarter than the people that own them.


People do not own cats; cats own people. They merely tolerate humans.


Ok, we can change that to people that feed them and empty their boxes of crap.

Rufus T. Firefly
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Re: Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, ...

Postby Rufus T. Firefly » Wed Sep 23, 2020 7:19 am

E7 wrote:
Rufus T. Firefly wrote:
E7 wrote: Shows cats are smarter than the people that own them.


People do not own cats; cats own people. They merely tolerate humans.


Ok, we can change that to people that feed them and empty their boxes of crap.


Yes, cats are members of the 1%
Conservatism: The intense fear that somewhere, somehow, someone you think is inferior is being treated as your equal.


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