Model Train Journal

An old priest lay dying. He sent a message for an Internal Revenue Service agent and his lawyer to come to the hospital. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the priest held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The priest grasp...

With appologies to Lutz K The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room ...

http://i974.photobucket.com/albums/ae222/cpsteamer/rednecks.jpg Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie and Pete. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, shucks, so...

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why was the dog allowed on the plane. The second man ex...

Morris returns from the doctor And tells his wife that the Doctor has told him that he Has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris Asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so They make love. About 6 hours later, the Husband goes to his wife and says, 'Honey, you know I now have Only ...

MurphOnMillerAve wrote:But.
But.

Oh, OK.
I am feeling.....ahhhh.....well...fatuous.
(Yet, I can see the dry heat has had its effect. )

Ummm is that fatuous or flatuous?

Just kidding Pass the Bush's

ken

Ed came home late one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.' Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry,...

Seniors at the Coffee Shop A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee." "I...

VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES --- 1 -How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! 2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. 3 - Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there...

They sent my Census form back!! In answer to the question, 'Do you have any dependents?', I put ... '12 million illegal immigrants, crack heads, unemployable idiots, lazy union employees, the cast of The Jerry Springer Show, 140,000 people in our 133 penal establishments in California, much of the C...

THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD FARTS: A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stoppe...

Understanding Engineers Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman ...

Confession An elderly man walks into a confessional... The following conversation ensues: Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with...

And now one for Mitch:

Thanking Obama for killing Bin Laden is like going into McDonald's and thanking Ronald McDonald for the hamburger. It's the guy cooking the burger that should get the credit, not the clown."

The TRUTH about Bin Laden's burial at sea Bin Laden Given Religious Funeral Prior to Sea Burial Published May 02, 2011 Osama bin Laden was given a religious funeral prior to his burial at sea, senior military officials told Fox News. Religious rites were conducted on the deck of the USS Carl Vinson ...